by James R. Hamer
Washington County Juvenile Court Counselor
Oregon Adolescent Sexual Offender Network
Games can be interpreted as innocent interaction and fun between children. It is a way of sharing with each other. It can be a trusting relationship that allows innocent fantasies to be played out.
For the adolescent sex offenders, “games” can have a different meaning – and opportunity to victimize. It is never just a game for the sex offender.In profiles of adolescent sex offenders, most are viewed as social isolates who feel uncomfortable with their peers. Because they tend to be isolated, they find it difficult to form relationships with peers of the opposite sex. Another element in the profile of the adolescent sex offender is immaturity, both physically and emotionally.
In Washington County Adolescent Sex Offender Treatment Programs, it is clear the “games” become a vital part of the offender’s behavior. As each individual becomes more detailed in self-reporting, it is clear how the pattern or cycle begins that allows the offender to victimize.Since the offender generally feels uncomfortable with his or her peers, it is much easier and less threatening to establish relationships with young children. They accomplish this through babysitting or playing with the younger neighborhood children. In our groups, this individual has always known the victim. The initial attempt by the offender is to establish trust; perhaps he or she have already assumed that position by being the older brother or sister, or perhaps the babysitter who is left in a position of control and trust, or the older neighborhood boy who can always be counted on to play tag or wrestle around. As the offender begins the games, he or she may not be inclined to sexually abuse the victim. But as the games continue and trust is firmly established, the offender becomes more aggressive. Because the games most offenders play with their young victims are “ touching games”, the adolescent offender may begin the cycle by turning these innocent games into sexualization of the victim. The “games” become a part of the offender’s sexual fantasies. The fantasy arouses the offender, and they begin to masturbate to it. An important aspect to all of this id the young victim’s trusting nature and the recognition that the older person is in control of the game.
The following self-reports are not atypical of the cycle that develops with the offender who “plays games”.
Jeff, age fifteen, was adjudicated for the rape/sodomy of a five year old girl. Jeff was left in charge of babysitting the five year old girl and the abuse occurred over a six-week period. Jeff states that the “game” was lifting the five year old up and down to the top or the bunk bed. Jeff states he “brushed” against her crotch area and she was giggling. He then started to stroke her crotch area through her clothing; she still giggled and it was still a “game”.
Jeff states he began to fantasize about the game and the touching. He was also masturbating to the fantasy. The game became more complex and her began to take her pants off, and was stroking her vagina with his hand. It was still a game, and that was what he told her. On each occasion that Jeff had an opportunity to play with the five year-old, he would escalate the sexual involvement. He ultimately sodomized and raped the five year-old girl.David is a fifteen-year old, who was adjudicated for Sexual Abuse in the First Degree. His victims involved a five-year old male and seven-year old female.
David states that he often played different kinds of games the neighborhood children. Some of the games involved playing house in a fort. David states that he was playing house with the seven-year old girl. He began hugging and kissing her. David states that he began to fantasize that she was older (his age) and started stroking her vagina. With the five-year old male victim, david reports that he was playing tag with several neighborhood boys and he isolated the five-year old boy and started to touch or rub the victim on his penis.
David, as with Jeff, stated that it was just a game that got out of control. They didn’t know what they were doing and couldn’t control it. They were unable to minimize the seriousness of the offense in their own minds. They did not believe the victim was seriously hurt because the victim seemed to be having fun. The games are always safe - it’s trusting and controlling, and allows access to the young child. It seems innocent to them.
What we attempt to do with these individuals is to confront the assumption that the game was just innocent fun, and that it is the offender’s responsibility for changing the rules of the game. The more detailed the perpetrator becomes about the offending behavior, the clearer the offender becomes about his own cycle. You need to ensure the perpetrator recognizes the pattern of the offending behavior and how the “game” rules enable sexualization of the victim.
In conjunction with recognition of cycle, there is the issue of manipulating the trust of the younger victim to allow access and continued abuse. The sexual offender needs to recognize that he is misusing the trust established with the younger victim and using it as a tool to control and exercise the power over the young child.
Lastly, it is imperative that the offender recognizes he is victimizing someone and that a young child can suffer emotional and psychological difficulties in the future. That because physical force was not used doesn’t mean the victim wan not exploited or harmed. Perhaps, if you can make inroads with the offender on the issue mentioned, you won’t have the adolescent offender saying to you, ‘But it’s just a game, isn’t it?”